a journey into self-awakening!

We live to love or love to live?

2011-11-22T19:53:00.000+05:30

The starting point of this note has been the movie or book “Tuesdays with Morrie” for me – where Morrie says “We must love one another or die… “.

Having listened to many people, attending a funeral and listening to conversations, I realized that most of the life we live because we love to live i.e. we are afraid of dying and afraid of doing many things of what society might say, or what others will say.

The so called society build so much of web around us that soon we get lost in studies, work, marriage, kids, money, big house and big cars and….forget what about living a life of love. Heard a friend “I love wild-life but am not able to go as am always busy with targets and more targets and more achievements…….”

We are trying to please someone or other most of our life – parents, teachers, boss, spouse, kids and many time realize too late in life that where was I in this journey, called life, that is to be enjoyed and savored.

What are you going to be when you grow up, is a question often asked ! Work is not what we do for a living, but what we do with our living. Let me share a story about the society which I heard from a friend in village – simple but powerful:

It goes like this: God Shiv and Goddess Parvati were once going and they had one horse for them to ride on.

Shiv was on the horse and Parvati was walking side by side – they meet few people who whispers “just see Shiv is riding and poor Parvati is walking”

Listening to them Shiv and Parvati switch places and now Parvati is on horse and Shiv is
walking – they meet few more people ; who starts talking “just see Parvati is on horse and her husband is walking”

Hearing to them, Shiv and Parvati both start walking – again few people say “just look at them, they have horse and they are both walking and seems they don’t have brain”

Listening to them – Shiv and Parvati decide that lets both sit on the horse – few more on the way say “just look at them, they want to kill the poor horse - both of them are riding horse”

Now Shiv and Parvati talk to each other and say that you can not satisfy everyone in the society and people will talk whatever may be the case.

That’s the reality – most of us rather than living our life of meaning; we tend to live life for someone else and forget how we can add happiness to our life and life of others by Loving our life (and life includes work and everything we do – yes its important to select what work you will do). A life to love can bring happiness to self and others around you.

Happiness is a state of mind. Lincoln once said. “We are as happy as we make up our minds to be.”

Am trying to follow the philosophy of “Live to love” and hope I will continue this journey with happiness ! :-)

Everyday is teacher's day !

2011-09-05T07:33:00.001+05:30

After passing out of my school in 1984, I met my math teacher (after a lot of search I was able to find her). While reflecting on my life, I was identifying people who made difference to my life and found many teachers who made huge difference. I decided to meet her one day in her new school and when I thanked her for her patience & care for us; with teary eyes she thanked me and shared that things have changed now and not many students are really concerned about teachers.

Being son of two teachers, probably I appreciate teachers more and understand their role in our life. For me life introduces new teachers’ everyday – my mentors in companies I worked for; my inspirational friends; my spouse and my kids now!

Yes, frankly we all remember few teachers out of hundreds we met during our student days; probably those teachers who helped us to believe in our strengths, who showed love & care and who had patience to deal with our challenges. I would like to tell my teachers that:

“Because of your profound dedication, you made us achieve our goals. We owe all our successes to you and you will always be remembered”

If we all reflect on our life, we will be able to identify those teachers/ mentors who made positive difference to our life and if we reflect more we will be able to identify the qualities we found in those inspirational teachers. It will be worth awhile to share these stories of positivity with your children, for them to understand the importance of teachers in our life and build a culture of respect.

An architect knows that if he builds with care, his structure may stand for centuries. A teacher knows that if she builds with love and truth, what she builds will last forever! I am a warrior, daily doing battle against peer pressure, negativity, fear, conformity, prejudice, ignorance and apathy. But I have great allies: Intelligence, Curiosity, Parental Support, Individuality, Creativity, Faith, Love and Laughter all rush to my banner with indomitable support!
- I am a teacher

Today, on 5^th September (teacher’s day in India), I dedicate this note to all teachers and share that I personally feel that Everyday is Teacher’s day!

When I was a kid....

2011-08-23T11:30:00.003+05:30

When I was a kid…there were few things with us or around us; but in general found more peace and happiness with people. Now there are so many materialistic comforts available to people but the level of happiness with them has drastically reduced; more and more people are having life style diseases. To clarify - am not against growth and development!

Looking around, overall people are unhappy with what they have and are also angry with what they don’t have and then they take this out on others. The reason is that they are angry with themselves and are not able to find the exact reasons or tend to avoid difficult questions like “What is the purpose of life?” “Why am I doing something, if I am doing?”

There is a sense of helplessness from within and that comes out on others. This helplessness is also due to the fact that aspirations have gone up and so as corruption in the society. Corruption in government and that in private and corruption with all of us. I feel even crossing a red light is a corruption; not doing your duty properly is a form of corruption; lying to others is corruption.

This confusion is exploited not only by politicians but also by companies; who create dreams (thru products) for people and keep them busy in those dreams - leading to rat race and then frustrations.

The present Anna movement is evident of that; people are unhappy with whatever is happening around them and finding fault with everything related to government. Surprisingly the government consisting of so many Harvard and Oxford educated ministers is trying to be blind to the facts. There is total confusion.

Yes there is problem in the way government departments’ functions and the way present situation is. But if we look within, we will find that all of us are party to so called “Corruption”.

Many of us, rather than looking for our growth find problem with growth and prosperity to people around us and soon fall in the trap of corruption.

As Morrie says in famous book and movie “Tuesdays with Morrie” -

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

In simple terms – if all of us in India just do the work with commitment for what we are paid for, all these issues will be over. I know it’s like looking for ideal world. But atleast some of us start the process and can take more along.

If people like Gandhi and Anna thought that let someone else begin – then we would be still sitting with lot of issues.

The new India is emerging and atleast I have lots of hope with the young generation; which is more clear in their thoughts and is better in decision making. They just need proper direction rather than too much gyan or advice from elders.

I mentioned few years back that India needs another revolution and waited for someone like Anna to begin!!

Some more quotes from Morrie:

“As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on—in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”

We all know what is right and what’s not but we look for someone else to follow but are not able to walk the talk…So let’s begin a new journey for us and for our future generations; define your purpose and meaning of life and start again, maybe

“ . . . there is no such thing as ‘too late’ in life.” (Morrie)

Success is not getting marks!!

2011-05-26T17:35:00.003+05:30

Amazed by hypocrisy in the society… while we all talk that marks is not everything but the way we glorify people who get high marks or ranks in IITs…it’s really sad!

So the kids are confused as there is no congruence in what we think, what we speak and what we do !!

Just to share that there are so many bright spots who may get less marks in the so-called board exams (which tests what you don’t know rather than testing what you know), but they do so well and are successful and happy. They may be silent workers or entrepreneurs who hire these glorified students later.

Am not trying to undermine the importance of hard-work for kids today; they definitely need to put their 100% in “their chosen area of interest”. Met couple of guys from top engineering college last week and all of them were cribbing that they are not happy being engineer (so why they have become- becoz their parents wanted them to be)

Even the CBSE topper says I want to be an IAS. Very good- then what’s the need to be an engineer (give the seat to a person who deserves and would add value to society and country).

Our minister says that we don’t have good teachers in our IITs and IIMs – but question is that even in best of graduation and PG colleges the courses are not revised for ages… they teach what is irrelevant. By the time kids pass out – half of it is irrelevant. The teachers would do the work for which their performance is measured (and in schools it’s the result or pass % in CBSE and in college its placement). So hardly any teacher would bother about student learning. So we will have toppers and rankers but very few researchers and thinkers. Only few of them who take extra pain and go out of India and use the best of research facilities are recognized.

So kids/teens – identify your dreams and the efforts required for the same and then put 100% for it and success jhak maarke tumhare peeche ayegi… (success will follow u)

Just to share that am also among the so-called toppers and what I want to do in Life – I realized at the age of 40!

Work Life Balance is a myth!

2011-04-16T12:30:00.002+05:30

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” ~ Albert Einstein

Most of us try to have internal dialogue with ourselves and try to justify that we have or want to have “good work-life balance”…. Even the people around us force us to think only about something called work-life balance. Think … think and think more….. whether its right ??

We all live our life and everything else is just a part of it…. So lets be clear that – work is also part of our life, hence there can’t be work-life balance… only balanced life !!

So what is life balance or balanced life?

There are 3 pillars to everyone’s life:

1. Self & Family. This is the core of our life. Any instability in this pillar can impact life in a big way. Disturbed self or disturbed family means imbalance or un-happy life. We get our energies and satisfaction from family and friends in addition to ourselves

2. Work/ Business. Unfortunately this becomes our mania or the pillar – clouding over the other 2 pillars. Many of us know this, and many unknowingly just fall into the trap or something called Rat Race…. Common dialogues… “once I have enough money, I will just leave and enjoy”; “next few years I will have everything I need and then I will leave and be more happy and relax”; “once my son gets into engineering, I will be able to relax more”…. There is really no need to be out of work or business to relax or be happy. It’s all about prioritizing and deciding…. And unfortunately most of us are weak in both. We just follow someone else’s dreams and don’t even want to know or decide what we want to do for this important pillar of our life.

3. Society. Its as important as the other two above. In general, we just want to take from society and feel someone else should give back to society than us. This creates imbalance – not immediate but in long term in our life too. The best example is global warming!!

So what to do….

Follow simple rules.

1. You and family come first. And that’s it…

2. Relax regularly; let the kid in you come out as much as possible

3. If you start getting difficult sleep, need to have re-look at above 3 pillars.

4. Work smart and need not always hard..

5. Be truthful to yourself

6. Identify priorities… what you really want (money is not a bad thing… but everything needs limit)

7. Decide at right time

8. Apologise – its not a bad thing…

9. Start living your dreams as early as possible for you

10. Life is fun and the only ultimate truth of life is Death… so your choice how you want to live the journey!

Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Robert Fulgham

Maiden visit to USA

2011-03-07T17:13:00.003+05:30

1^st time in life travelled 34000 kms in almost 3 weeks and feeling tired… The learning has been immense from the maiden visit to USA… Enjoyed the vastness of space and the openness (except in New York)… Felt happy to meet so many different people who are willing to accept you as you are. They do respect Indians a lot these days and are open to learn about India and its success stories. Many talk about Gandhi, his principles and spirituality, yoga etc while discussing India. Surprisingly Gandhi and his principles are only available in books in India and spirituality is invariably mixed with religion and probably now in India, we eat more of junk food than west !!

Got my “Life Coach Certificate” from USA and “NLP Practitioner Certification” from SNLP, USA (the course conducted in Edinburgh, UK). Amazing experience and the learning. The group was open to share and willing learn at both programs. The program facilitators did not use LCD projector or laptop at all… impactful learning with experience sharing and practice sessions!

The phobia cure session in NLP was amazing as people were cured of their phobias in the session and were literally playing with the python (brought to the session).

USA is an amazing and large country… people are energetic and work till they wish to work (there is no official retirement age). Was really pleased to see people in their 60s and so much lively and energetic. There were many in our class in Orange County. Everything – the roads, area, homes, shops etc are very large; even the "small hot chocolate” glass in Mcdonalds is quite large for me J

Enjoyed the cities of Jersey, DC, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Virginia, NYC & LA… Looking back – covered quite a bit!

It was a good experience overall from the 1^st visit to US and then to Scotland. Feeling invigorated and ready to apply my learning to Indian society through Atmachetna!

KISS - what a school!

2010-12-13T15:06:00.002+05:30

Just back from an invigorating experience in Bhubaneswar, Orissa.

After a long time, got an opportunity to interact with final year students of KIIT for 8 days. The campus connect program thru Corporate Gurukul - http://www.corporategurukul.com/. Rajesh Panda, founder of Corporate Gurukul is a close friend and a passionate professional, who wants to bring positive change in Orissa and in India thru employability programs.

Enjoyed every bit of the program and specially the last day of the program which brought great learning for all of us, the facilitators of the program.

And the best part of this visit was our short visit to KISS (Kalinga Institute of Social Sciences)- www.kissorissa.org . A residential institute for tribals of Orissa, where education from KG to PG is free (yes totally free). Its present strength is 12000 students. It covers 62 tribal groups from the 30 districts of Orissa which includes 13 primitive tribal groups. The school provides free and good quality education and accommodation to tribal children of Orissa. It was an eye opener for all of us as we witnessed great art, coordination, team work and number of achievements of these tribal students. Their team is world rugby champion for last 2 years in Under 14 and Under 16 and their class 10th result is 100%. It has received number of visitors from USA and UK, who are amazed by the objectives & achievements of this school. Kids here not only focus on studies, but on life skills, vocational skills, sports and many other activities which will help these tribal kids to build a better society.

The initiative is a dream of 1 man, Mr. Samanta, who setup KIIT university in Bhubaneswar.

KISS is a must visit for anyone who believes in education and wants to learn, appreciate and apply the learning in small or big way for others.

Thank you Rajesh for making this visit possible…

Each Child in Unique !!

2010-11-14T10:07:00.000+05:30

The joy of bringing a new life to earth and nurturing them is “parenting”… agree ??

Many of us believe in what is written above; but there are many others who realize much later in life why they chose to become parent…and many who don’t even realize …..sounds familiar?

To generalize – let’s say that intent of every parent about their kids is right..

So what is the issue – why am I saying that each child is unique..I feel that the real problem starts when we start treating kids like commodities and our property. It’s like “teri kameez meri kameez se safed kaise” ; similarly how come my child is not equal to his/her brothers/sisters/ cousins/ classmates/ neighbors etc.. etc..

Am not saying that we should not have dreams for kids; issue is who is deciding the dreams and the path to get there. It’s like a craze that doctors & engineers earn more so everyone is after that..now its time for cricketers making money so everyone is running for their kids to join cricket academy.. now it’s IT boom, so every kid must learn computers..

This race creates something called Hurried Child (there is a good book by the same name for those of you who like to go deeper).. “Life is a race and those who can’t are like broken anda” – remember from 3 idiots!!

Unfortunately, everything (yes even parenting now in India) is market driven.

I feel that Child is NOT a commodity and property.. he/ she is an individual with independent gifts and qualities and brain to think and heart to feel. So comparison statements like the one below are injustice and can hurt a child’s self-respect..if not create a divide between siblings

"You are not like your sister who is so quick in making a decision."
" You should be a good role model for others"
" you must become IAS like Guptaji’s son"

Sounds familiar?!

Is it wrong to have expectations for/from kids – answer is NO; but yes its criminal to make them follow your dreams as parents. (don’t mind my strong words, but I really feel so)

“But we give them everything they want – then why can’t they become something in life” – yes you gave them everything in life by keeping remote control of their life in your hands and now when they face the real world they don’t know what to do; how to do.

Every day, yes every day, I meet adults who are not happy with what they are doing.. “I wish I could have done that instead of this” – still with their own kids they pass on their own anxieties and pressures.

SO WHAT IS TO BE DONE..

Nothing like rocket science.. very simple:

Just understand the child as he or she is born; give them love, care, guidance, freedom and help them to know their unique gifts; help them to define their own dreams and then guide them to the path to these dreams.. Don’t spoon feed, but give them life skills.. let them take decisions, make mistakes and learn from them.. give them security, and time ; be there when they need you (they may not miss IPODs, IPhones but they definitely miss you!)

Looks simple; isn’t it !!

Yes easy said than done; I know many people who come to me for advise/ counseling – we are doing almost this but still lot of problems in relation with our child.. the real issue is that we adults are afraid to say that we are wrong (as we are experienced and how can we be wrong); we are afraid to make changes as it may sound as if we have lost the battle to our kids… Life is not a race or battle.. its a journey of happiness..

Am sure, Indian parents are changing, but the change is very very slow and that too only in urban India; still in small towns and villages people live in the fear of missing the race (yes everyone has exposure to the race thru media).

So those of you who sincerely feel that each child is unique and deserves unique treatment – please take these thoughts to as many people you can.. If you are able to make a difference in one family – just feel the joy in your life!

As someone said - ask yourself “have you brought joy to yourself and have you brought joy to others life thru your actions and words”

Am sorry if this note is too oriented towards parents (my assumption is that its valid for each and every teacher too ; that’s why no separate mention :)

Happy Children's day !! - though i feel every day is children's day

Visit Switzerland - heaven on earth !!

2010-11-02T20:22:00.020+05:30

Hi, this is based on our experiences from recent trip of 22 days in Europe and is not official guide.. Info is intended for friends and tourists who wish to travel to Switzerland from India.

Some important pointers:

Largely people in Switzerland are very friendly and soft spoken; at times we are too loud for them :-)
People have proper work life balance; most of the commercial establishments close at 5.30-6.00 pm.
Swiss people speak French or German language but are comfortable with English
Though Euro is acceptable, Swiss prefer Swiss Francs (so you must take Swiss francs with you)
Trust is all the hallmark of society and hardly anyone checks your tickets in public transport. But pls don’t try to cheat the system !!
Most of the information about public transport (which is too good to believe) is available on internet. Actually if you know the name /address of places (from/to) where you have to go then type them on google maps and click on the public transport icon on top left side and it will give you all details of trams/buses/trains etc.
Vegetarian food is slightly difficult to find, however plenty of fruits, cheese and chocolates are available. Cheese is really very good. If you like cheese, you must eat something called “Fondue”.
You can drink water from tap in your place of stay – its totally safe (may not from tap of public places – we did not explore though)
If you can – try to plan your trip yourself and if you are lazy or don’t want to explore much then can go with tour operators!!
Keep Luggage light and take strolleys as at many places in Europe, you will have to lift your luggage (in hotels also its self service and many do not have lift - it they are 2 floors only)

We started our journey from Zurich airport. So that’s why Zurich comes here 1^st.

Zurich Airport: Once you land at airport, follow signs for passport control and exit. You will take a small train to reach the passport control. Passport stamping is very fast and they don’t ask any funny questions and actually welcome you. After that you can go to collect your luggage and move out. Outside lot of choice is available to reach your hotel/residence – taxies (which are expensive and should be avoided), buses, trams and train. Before starting from India, check which tram/bus can take you near the hotel. And then ask anyone at the airport (though there are plenty of signages too). People are very friendly everywhere, so you can ask anyone.

Important: Before starting, please buy Swiss pass in India for all of you. For 2 adults + 2 kids below 15 years, 2^nd class costs Euro 414 for 8 days and 1^st class Euro 636 (you pay for 2 adults and 2 kids are free). Don’t forget to take the “family card” if you are traveling with kids. Swiss Pass is a must for visiting Switzerland – as u can use it on trams, buses, trains, most of boats (there are only few places where Swiss pass is not applicable – but there too one gets good discount on fare – please check below for details). You can buy from Rail Europe Indiahttp://www.raileurope.co.in/rail-products/rail-passes/article/swiss-pass. The pass MUST be endorsed/ stamped on the 1^st day of travel at any Railway station (you can go to information counter or ticket counter).

We stayed 1 night in Zurich in Novotel Airport (its just at a tram station which comes from Airport and has easy connection to city); you can choose as per your plans. However, Zurich is a business town so limited tourist attractions. (Check http://www.zuerich.com/en/welcome.cfmfor more details on Zurich)

We took Zurich city tour - trolley tour and enjoyed the 2 hour (sweet and short tour) – rest we explored on our own. You need not take the tour with boat tour as Boat tour is free with Swiss Pass (which you already have – refer above).

We went to Interlaken from Zurich by train and there are number of trains – mostly via Bern for Interlaken. Interlaken is a small and most beautiful part of Switzerland, connecting to many places of interest and is a good place to relax.

Please Note: Each train has 1^st class and 2^nd class compartments. At time in hurry if you board the train, with luggage, in 1^st class and have to move to 2^nd class – it will be really tough inside the train as train has 2 floors (so you will have to move up & down). We were caught in this maze :-)

You can go to info counters and ask for timetable from anywhere to anywhere (specify approx time) and they will happily give you a printout with couple of options.

In Interlaken we stayed at Hotel Neuhaus http://www.hotel-neuhaus.ch/startseite_deutsch1.html

It’s a hotel just next to Lake Thun. It’s just 8 mins by bus from Interlaken West bus station. Please note that it’s a wonderful resort (out of city; next to the lake; however the last bus leaves at 710 pm from Interlaken west towards the hotel- so in case u wish to stay late in Interlaken then you will have to take a cab.) Check our photos for Neuhaus. Most of the shops close by 6 pm, except few restaurants in Interlaken. In case you like to stay in city kind of environment and not quiet place then look for another hotel. The hotel’s hosts are very friendly and they have a nice family room for a family of 4 too. You can come out of your room and go for boating in Lake Thun which is probably one of the best in Switzerland. Even you can go by boat to Interlaken west from the hotel. It has a small and nice restaurant where you get basic breakfast (don't expect a lavish one)

People looking for a relaxing break – Interlaken is the place in Switzerland.

Zermatt & Gornergrat: It’s a day’s trip from Interlaken and a must. You can take a train from Interlaken West or Interlaken Ost station. You will require changing at 2 places – Spiez & Visp. From Visp to Zermatt is a cog wheel train; Beautiful scenery on the way. Zermatt is like a small hill station. From there you can go to top of a mountain by cable car or train. We took train to Gornergrat (Swiss pass is not valid in this train but you get 50% discount – buy to/fro ticket). Gornergrat is beautiful and if u are lucky as us – it might snow there. You can spend few hours in Zermatt and Gornergrat. To and fro journey is really picturesque.

Jungfraujoch – Its called top of Europe and is also a day’s trip from Interlaken – again a must. You take a train from Interlaken Ost (I think Ost is for East) and go to Kleine Scheidegg via Lauterbrunnen or Grindelwald. You need to buy train tickets at Interlaken Ost (tell them you have Swiss pass and you will get discounted tickets). Its really out of the world with Snow all the time at Junfraujoch. You can spend some time at Grindelwald too – its really cool place. This region is called Jungfrau region. You can get more details at http://www.jungfrau.ch/en/sommer/time-navigation/summer/

You can actually spend almost 6-7 days at Interlaken but we spent only 4 days :-(. From here we went by train to Bern (capital of Switzerland). Bern also has limited tourist attractions – we went to clock tower (walk able from here is Einstein’s House)… Just boarded a tram – moved around- took any bus and explored bern. As we had Swiss pass we just discussed and boarded a train to Luzern (another beautiful place, where every tour operator will take you). We did not stay in Luzern but spent couple of hours exploring the city and moving around the boat. We took a train back to Bern from a different route (going thru the country-side) and it was again a wonderful experience.

We took a train from Bern to Paris for rest of our journey.

I feel and its echoed by everyone in the family that Switzerland is just out of the world not only from scenic beauty point of view but because:·

People are extremely good; they are healthy too (good unadulterated food, no pollution, happy / smiling and relaxed)

Life is too cool there (even old people - 90 year old riding a bicycle herself) ·

Hardly we saw anyone with mobile phone attached to his/her ears ·

Even the richest people had modest mobile phones; no show-off ·

There seems to be calmness with people – there is no hurry or race (people seems to be contended) ·

There is no greed seen in common people (having multiple houses or cars etc) ·

Public transport is excellent and actually you can set your watch (they stick to time table:-) ·

There is goodness flowing around all over Swiss

Probably Swiss was our best place to visit in this tour. Please email me if you need more specific info. Hope this blog is helpful for people travelling to Switzerland from India.

More about Paris, Scotland and UK in next blog….

I love India but…..!

2010-08-31T14:35:00.002+05:30

Writing after a long break! Last few months have been enlightening from various respect… Met many interesting people across India; Lot of insights and learning – about Life..

Enjoyed learning about small way people are taking care of environment in places like Jamshedpur; how a person can be so nice in CCD at Kolkata Airport (he replaced the brownie free when it fell down due to my fault), how an executive shared his learning from Premchand books & stories (special mention to story called – "Kafan" – please read if you have not read till now)…

Enjoyed my interactions & learning from these youngsters in Right Management (where I am a freelance consultant)…

Enjoyed interactions with teens and teachers at Assam Valley School...Enjoyed serene Cherapunjee

Enjoy every bit with my kids and wife... (though getting these moments less than planned)

But…

Am still concerned about the way we are being managed by our leaders .. still grains rot but not shared with poor; still we don’t teach or practice humility.. still we are enslaved by today’s leaders (much short of true independence for Indians); still we have such poor infrastructures in “so-called world cities” like Delhi, Gurgaon, Mumbai etc..; still we don’t want to learn & apply from our own success stories like Surat (finding politics); still we all appreciate & discuss 3 idiots (but at home still shout at kids for getting low marks); still people are not ready to be civic & blame authorities; still everyone drives crazy in Delhi or Bangalore or Kolkata; still people die because of malaria; still we waste so much water; still we don't respect trees; still we are so patient or tolerant of inefficiencies by govt. departments.

Am I a pessimist?? No, I don’t think so..

Yes, I feel concerned - why the educated lot (many near & dear ones) are chasing someone's race and finding happiness in materialistic things… ; Many chasing fast food ; fast life; fast cars; run - run- run...…

Lot of questions… Have few answers and will continue doing whatever I cud… ( I can not remain a mere spectator and wud do whatever way – small or big- to bring joy to others!);

Hey – am not praising myself ; just being happy with myself :-)

Enjoy!

Live meaningfully; don’t die a daily death!

2010-03-25T19:51:00.004+05:30

Life is like a flowing river; it changes within each second and can cease at any time. Death – the ultimate truth of life can happen at any moment. Death can happen at any moment to the friend or stranger. Your materialistic things also deteriorate, and may not last forever.

Most of us know this truth of life; but very few realize importance of meaningful living. Many realize this at fag end of life and say “I wish I could have….” and many leave this world even without realizing.

Many of my friends and dear ones share that they are not happy with their work, their job, their life …. But most are not willing to start living.. They live a life in which the remote control is in someone else’s hands (spouse, kids, friends, relatives, boss, company, society etc).

I feel rather than dying a daily death; its important that one must start living and not just living but living meaningfully.

As some one said “God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have.”

Most of us are afraid of asking these questions;

what am I doing?
Why am I doing?
What I like to do?
Why am I not doing what I like to do?
Who is controlling my life?
What gives me true happiness?
Am I doing something for myself only or am I bringing joy to others?

And many those who start thinking about these, leave them early as they are afraid.. they continue to die daily but cannot decide to live…

The only thing we can do is to enjoy this life by giving happiness and joy to ourselves and others.

As Morrie Schwartz, in "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom says:

So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Diary of a jetsetter!!

2010-01-23T17:44:00.002+05:30

A busy hi-fly executive – drawing hefty salary (not me) started his day with a great hope that “today I am going to crack the big deal with my clients.” He got up early at 5 am and got ready to reach the airport by 7 am; which he did (as the flight was at 8 am). On reaching the Delhi airport, he found that his flight is delayed by 15 mins. As he is a “busy executive” – his company has booked him in best of the airlines and not so called “low cost” airlines and he is very proud of this fact.

He felt whole of the city is at the airport when he reached the Check-in counter and it took him almost 25 min to checkin. He was told that now the flight is delayed by 25mins. He thought its ok as his first meeting in Mumbai is at 11.30 am; so no hurry. So he moved to the security area and was surprised to see again such a long queue. He was frustrated to see the speed of work there, but was helpless (as he saw his Louis Philippe jacket being kept in a tray with his laptop and scanned).

So having cleared all the security; he was all set to board the flight. Now he was slightly hungry too as it was already almost 8 am by the time he cleared security. He thought in any case I will get a good breakfast in the aircraft so it’s better to wait. He patiently waited till 830am and soon started to feel why there is no announcement to board his flight. He inquired from the airlines representative; who mentioned let me just check and he never returned (what an idiot he thought!). He again asked a beautiful girl from airlines, who assured him that she will definitely find out and let him know. She smilingly informed, Sir we will announce boarding soon and it actually happened at 845am when they were taken for boarding and he reached his seat in the aircraft exactly at 858am as the aircraft was parked at a distance.

Now seated and everyone on board at 914 am he was happy that he will still make it (what a positive attitude!). The doors were closed and plane was still not starting. On enquiring, he was told the last of the baggage is being loaded. Then exactly at 929 am the pilot announced that sorry for this delay and they are ready to move but they are 14^th in the take-off sequence and it will take atleast 20 mins. Now his patience was soon getting over and he was regularly looking at his watch for take-off (as this meeting in Mumbai was very important for him). Meanwhile he sent a small sms to client that he might be delayed by 30 mins (nice approach to keep client informed:-)

The flight finally took off at 10.01 am; and he was really very hungry and frustrated why he chose this airlines or why things are not improved in this country…..

So he got the breakfast – he preferred Veg and got a small meal (south Indian) which he soon felt was not enough and too light! On checking with the beautiful airhostess – he was told that now a days everyone is cutting cost Sir. He thought low cost airlines are better as you can buy as much food as you want!!

Pilot announced that we are flying over Baroda and soon will start our descent to Mumbai; but soon that also changed as he again mentioned that we are 7^th in landing sequence as one runway in Mumbai is closed for some repairs. Now our friend was very frustrated and angry as it will really get late for him to reach the 1^st client at 1130am and next meetings are at 2.30 pm and 5pm (one in Colaba and other one at 5pm at Bandra – closer to airport as he has to take the 8pm flight back home)

The plane finally landed at 1235pm and he came out of the airport at 1253 pm (as he did not have checkin luggage). He got into the pre-paid taxi at 1.08pm and shouted Worli – as fast as possible as I have a meeting; driver looked at him surprisingly and then our friend added – PLEASE…. I will give you extra. He called up client and said I will reach by 130-145pm as the flight was delayed and client was cooperative. So he was relaxed and closed his eyes.

When he opened he found he has reached Bandra only; he thought he slept for long and checked and he was right it was already 132 pm. He asked what is happening and was told – Sir today is big rally of a party celebrating success so traffic jam L

He finally landed at clients place at 2.03 pm and again felt sorry. He was worried about 230pm meeting as that client was a tough client. So he sent him an sms telling that he will reach by 3pm as flight was delayed. Soon he realized that the important decision maker for the Worli client had left after waiting for long and the decision will not be taken now.

He left the Worli client to reach at Colaba at 345pm and the tough client at Colaba had also left after waiting for him (with a message that be on time next time). Now he did not want to miss the last client at Bandra at 5pm; so he got himself a burger from Colaba as there was no time for proper lunch. He did reach the clients office exactly at 456pm and was very happy that atleast he can meet this client on time. On enquiring he was told that the client is now stuck in jam and will reach in 15 mins; which he reached in 46 mins. As our friend had to catch the 8pm flight at Mumbai airport; he has to leave Bandra atleast at 630pm to reach airport by 7pm; so the meeting with Bandra client was also inconclusive.

He sat in an AC taxi; thinking that he could not finish any of his work and he is going without any deal (he did not stay back in Mumbai as clients were out of station from tomorrow)

On reaching airport he was told the flight is on time (atleast one good thing in the day today- he thought). Flight took off exactly at 812pm and they reached near Delhi at 952pm; but were told that they are again 8^th in landing sequence. Finally aircraft touched the ground at 1023pm (that too on the new runway – which took 22min for taxi). He was finally out at 11.01pm and got into the taxi and headed towards his home in Gurgaon. He was surprised to see the traffic on NH-8; where there were trucks all-over; in all lanes and no traffic policeman around. It was really scary to see trucks being driven so fast and in all lanes. On reaching toll-plaza he found that trucks are there in ALL the lanes and it took them 18 mins to cross the toll-plaza. Finally he reached his home at 1158pm (2 minute before mid-night).

He thought to himself that he spent almost 18.5 hours on road/air without any result and no proper food – what a waste!!

Is this called Development?? When we will improve as a country??

Lot of noble thoughts – but next day is again a busy day as I am expecting important partners !!

Every Day is Children's Day!

2009-11-13T09:09:00.003+05:30

Again this year like every year, there is rush to do so many activities for children – on children’s day i.e 14th November. On this day Pandit Nehru’s birthday is being celebrated – but did he say that 1 day is children’s day or we should love our kids in special ways only on this day!

Every child in this world deserves to be happy and enjoy his/her childhood. Its up to all of us to give them unconditional love- every day and make each & every day as Children’s day.

Below is the letter written by Pandit Nehru (Chacha Nehru) to children on 3rd December 1949. Enjoy!

"Dear Children,

I like being with children and talking to them and, even more, playing with them. For the moment I forget that I am terribly old and it is very long ago since I was a child.

But when I sit down to write, I cannot forget my age and the distance that separates you from me. Old people have a habit of delivering sermons and good advice to the young.

I remember that I disliked this very much long ago when I was a boy. So I suppose you do not like it very much either. Grown-ups also have a habit of appearing to be very wise, even though very few of them possess much wisdom. I have not yet quite made up my mind whether I am wise or not.

Sometimes listening to others I feel that I must be wise and brilliant and important. Then, looking at myself, I begin to doubt this. In any event, people who are wise do not talk about their wisdom and do not behave as if they were very superior persons...

What then shall I write about? If you were with me, I would love to talk to you about this beautiful world of ours, about flowers, trees, birds, animals, stars, mountains, glaciers and all the other beautiful things that surround us in the world. We have all this beauty all around us and yet we, who are grown-ups, often forget about it and lose ourselves in our arguments or in our quarrels. We sit in our offices and imagine that we are doing very important work.

I hope you will be more sensible and open your eyes and ears to this beauty and life that surrounds you. Can you recognise the flowers by their names and the birds by their singing? How easy it is to make friends with them and with everything in nature, if you go to them affectionately and with friendship. You must have read many fairy tales and stories of long ago. But the world itself is the greatest fairytale and story of adventure that was ever written. Only we must have eyes to see and ears to hear and a mind that opens out to the life and beauty of the world.

Grown-ups have a strange way of putting themselves in compartments and groups. They build barriers... of religion, caste, colour, party, nation, province, language, customs and of rich and poor. Thus they live in prisons of their own making. Fortunately, children do not know much about these barriers, which separate. They play and work with each other and it is only when they grow up that they begin to learn about these barriers from their elders. I hope you will take a long time in growing up...

Some months ago, the children of Japan wrote to me and asked me to send them an elephant. I sent them a beautiful elephant on behalf of the children of India... This noble animal became a symbol of India to them and a link between them and the children of India.

I was very happy that this gift of ours gave so much joy to so many children of Japan, and made them think of our country... remember that everywhere there are children like you going to school and work and play, and sometimes quarrelling but always making friends again. You can read about these countries in your books, and when you grow up many of you will visit them. Go there as friends and you will find friends to greet you.

You know we had a very great man amongst us. He was called Mahatma Gandhi. But we used to call him affectionately Bapuji. He was wise, but he did not show off his wisdom. He was simple and childlike in many ways and he loved children... he taught us to face the world cheerfully and with laughter.

Our country is a very big country and there is a great deal to be done by all of us. If each one of us does his or her little bit, then all this mounts up and the country prospers and goes ahead fast.

I have tried to talk to you in this letter as if you were sitting near me, and I have written more than I intended."

Education Reforms!

2009-11-10T19:55:00.001+05:30

The way our HRD ministry is announcing decisions about various critical educational institutions and programs in spurts; it's not going to lead to comprehensive education reforms in India. The latest is about admissions to IITs or foreign universities. Last month the ministry announced abolishing CBSE class X board examinations from 2011; it totally forgot about ICSE class X board. Is it not that the students of ICSE board are also stressed?

Education reforms globally have been successful, when they have followed systematic planning and interventions. These are usually slow and gradual. Yes, there is urgency for re-invigorating the education system in India; but knee jerk reactions will confuse the situation more.

The comprehensive reform process has to begin with defining the education vision and philosophy for the nation and breaking down into clearly identifiable goals with deadlines attached to each. For so many years now, India has ignored the critical Early Childhood Education (2-6 years), which is critical for developing of kids who are confident and healthy later in life. Without defining the detailed road-map and the clear deadlines; it may not be possible to get comprehensive reforms in education. The National Curriculum Framework created in 2005 by NCERT is still not implemented and surprisingly, not many in the education sector are even aware of such a wonderful document. All the sector of education- Early Childhood, Primary, Middle, Secondary, Under graduation, post graduation, research, vocational must be given due importance in the education philosophy document of the nation. NKC has created some of the interesting documents about each sector of education; probably someone has to combine and create a philosophy and vision document for INDIA.

The implementation of plan would be more critical even than creation of the plan; as generally when government change and the process begins from start again! The education reforms globally are beyond the ambit of politics. They are designed and created from nation's perspective; rather than party perspective. There is enough talent available in India to help government at each step of reform; it has to just begin the process systematically and sincerely and seek help as and when required utilising the strengths of academicians, practitioners and entrepreneurs, both social and education.

Its the education which can take India to next level in world economy. Its high time we think India as a potentially great nation and work in tandem to create an education infrastructure and framework which is not only world-class but also effective in both urban and rural settings of India. In the recent concluded Global Conference on Education in Bahrain last month; the crown Prince of Bahrain shared that there are 3 things which can take a nation ahead - Education, Education and Education!

Discovering Self!

2009-10-21T16:08:00.002+05:30

We all are faced with questions about ourselves on a regular basis. Only some of us and only some-time we really take time out to think about those questions. It’s surprising that most of us are not giving much time to ourselves or we tend to postpone thinking about us.

We have enough time to think and plan for our organizations, for thinking about what’s happening well around us or what’s not working so well in society or in my job/business; but we avoid spending anytime for ourselves!

These questions typically are – what am I doing in life right now; am I getting the true happiness; is this the way I wanted to live my life; should I continue to live like this; its affecting my health and peace of mind currently- what should I do; why I am stressed – though I have all the luxuries of life; how I am contributing to myself, my family, my spouse, my kids; what’s that true happiness – is it in getting or giving?? And many more….

However, most of us spend time in thinking about being successful - how to make more money; how to buy the next best car; where my next foreign holiday is; how to be one-up with my peers; and this race goes on! And we make our kids also to get into this race – very early these days; not letting them find out their own path of race or contentment!!

Nothing is right or wrong! The basic issue is – are we asking ourselves the questions, which are important for us NOW or are we postponing them for someone else to decide LATER?

Only you can answer this for yourself! Just take a pause in your life and think!

As Alan Alda says “You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself.”

Happy reading!

Are You Pushing Your Child Too Much?

2009-10-13T17:02:00.002+05:30

Many a time, some children look grown up and look like an adult, though they are just kids. We, parents, start treating them and expecting them to behave like adults too early and hurry them into growing up.. What is to be seen is that probably you are pushing your kids too hard and too early by giving them responsibilities more than required for that age.

Pressures on Kids

During the early and middle childhood years, kids feel pressures from multiple sources. They may feel pressure from parents, from teachers and friends, from society and pressure from within. Parents and teachers inadvertently are passing their own pressures to kids. Kids try to cope up and live with these pressures.

As kids grow into teenagers and an adult they develop their own opinions and are able to handle situations well. However in early age a kid's stress level are mostly managed by a parent or adult.

Young kids will express their views and feelings to their parents and adults depending on the response they get from them. If the response is positive then they may seek parent’s guidance to cope up with stress and fears; else they would get into their own opinions, which may not be right and confusing. Some kids, however, may get into their shells and may keep stress to themselves and show it through unhappiness, dejection, or depression. Other kids may express feelings of stress strongly and begin to misbehave.

Watch for the signals of Stress

Parents and adults need to keep an eye on the signs of stress (could be physical or psychological) in kids and help them to come out with it effectively

Some of the signals which may show negative impact on kids may include:

Kid has lost interest in his/her favourite activities or games
The child loses interest in studies and performance in school is declining
Restlessness, easily tired or agitation in a child.
Kid has gone into his/her shell and do not communicate much
Frequent headaches and stomach pains in kids.
Kid seems to be lost and displays confused behaviour

Stressful kids become stressed adults. It’s important for parents to understand this as early as possible and help child to become a confident and happy adult.

Change Delhi Change!!

2009-09-27T22:40:00.002+05:30

It’s nice to see the latest concern of our honorable Minister about Delhi. Its really great to feel and imagine that the culture of Delhi and its style can change in 1 years time. What has happened for last 20-30 years, our minister feel can be un-done in just 1 year and suddenly Delhi-ites become different and Delhi becomes an International city. There are few questions to be asked is that in which International city you will find:

Roads as in Delhi – even surface of moon is better
Frequent Power and water shortages
Parking on roads
No evidence of lane driving
Erratic street lights
Flooded streets with few showers
Animals on roads
Absurd chaos in front of railway stations
So much honking
Un-planned traffic
Untrained cops to "manage" traffic
Chaos at latest toll plazas
Trucks, carts, tractors and so much variety on roads
No control on number of vehicles on road
Getting license without knowing how to drive

Delhi has almost reach a point of no-return for the chaos it has and it’s likely to be increased in future. Experts feel that just in couple of years, traffic would almost stop on roads of Delhi. It requires herculean effort to bring some sense to the city. It requires huge investment in training people on basics of life. It has to start from schools, communities, households, colleges etc. Every where you have to create the need to change à change for better.

Government has to play pivotal role in bringing this change through education. How can you make people change in days; there is no humility; no care for others; every one is just wanting to win a race. It requires mind-set change and it requires very tough decisions beyond political mileages.

Most of our ministers and govt senior staff visits other countries and enjoy the goodness there; but hardly anyone takes pain to start some change. E.g Internationally all vehicles must have both side view mirror in cars and 4-wheelers. Here in India, more than half of the vehicles don’t even have the basic left rear-view mirror fitted. In case of lane change you need to check 6 points before you can change the lane; but I am not sure whether the people creating rules also know about these international basic driving rules. Honking in other countries is almost like shouting or yelling at someone and is rarely heard. In India, it’s a necessity.

As a challenge, our honorable minister can try to improve the chaos in front of New Delhi Railway station- Paharganj side in next 1 month. He has power to do it – lets see if he has intention and will and desire to do it.

Talking big is easy – but doing something is difficult ( its surprising that it looks so difficult for the people in power too).

If you really want to see a change in Delhi in 3 years; you have to start now. Involve people from various departments- Indian consultants who are doing excellent job globally. But first have a will, and be ready to take tough calls!

Are you ready ?

Living Vs Meaningful Living !!!

2009-08-01T10:38:00.002+05:30

"Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow." - Mahatma Gandhi

As science defines it, to be living, a thing must be capable of growth, reproduction and metabolism. And many of us just live for living to justify this definition. Many may say, "so what’s wrong"; nothing, just that there is huge difference between living and meaningful living.

We all want to live a “good life”. “I want to have a good quality of life” – remember regularly listening this! But what is this good life that we all seem to long for?

One starts measuring the goodness of life with what one have in terms of materialistic things; so much so that instead of good life it becomes how do I “feel good”. Instead of deeply appreciating what we have, we focus on getting more stuff; more focusing on what we don’t have. The good life gives way to a seemingly “feel good” life.

Once I have a good education I will be happy; once I get good job or get good business I will be happy; next comes once I have good wife and family I will be happy; once I have my own house a large car and mobile and digital TV and …….. I will be happy and it goes on. So the elusive “happiness” – our reasons for being happy is always moving ahead of us and we are always chasing it.

One may ask, is it wrong? No, it’s not wrong to be aspirational and working for your aspirations or dreams. But getting caught in this never ending chase is not living.

There are billions of people who come; live their life and go without knowing or enjoying the life!! We must understand that meaningful living is beyond just living; it begins with knowing ourselves first; knowing what I enjoy doing; who am I; knowing our gifts; our passions; our love; our simple life pleasures and many more. At least we can ask ourselves a basic question regularly why do I exist? What is the purpose of my life? Even if the purpose of our life is making money – define how and what and why??

Many people around us are “just living for the sake of living” – pardon me for saying but that’s what animals are also doing. They feel helpless that they can not do much as things are not in their hand; “recession is there; we are planning for future; we should have enough money, everyone is doing it, what about society etc etc”.

Half of your work is done if I know myself well. That’s self-awareness or self-awakening!

Then begins the real living; a life rich in appreciation of simple beauty and immersing in gratitude for what we have. Life with simple pleasures — a good laugh, a hug, a walk in the sunshine, even watching our favorite sports team play, a time for our self; playing with our kids in their way of playing; taking care of health; being with friends whom we always wanted to meet but could not (as we were busy chasing somebody else’s dreams)

Meaningful life is a life of doing, creating and enjoying the deeper, long-lasting fulfillment that comes along with us. It may not come with money or many of the gadgets we have. When our lives are rich in simple, healthy pleasures and full of engagement, we are free to search for spiritual journey. We can focus on shaping a deep and authentic sense of purpose. In such a life, we draw on our gifts to undertake challenges that are larger than our selves. We enlarge our sense of self and see the bigger picture and it diminishes our ego. It expands our connect to the world and to others beyond ourselves. It also produces a profound sense of satisfaction. It gives us that happiness we were always chasing!

We then ask ourselves; "What really matters?" and "Why does it matter?"
Asking “why?” enhances our sense of what is important. It takes us beyond our own narrow apprehensions into the realm of higher purpose and the greater good. A meaningful life is one in which we reach out beyond our own ego and see our lives in service of something greater. We shift our focus from Getting to Giving. We realize that we are here to contribute what we can to our & other’s life, not just what we take from others. Just an advice from me : In this whole journey we must keep one of the important virtues with us i.e. humility (its one quality which must remain with anyone even when we reach the highest level of satisfaction and the world feels that we are great!!. I am telling with personal experience of very close people; the time they get money or power they somehow loose humility)

“This is the true joy in life,” said George Bernard Shaw, “the being used for a purpose recognized by you as a mighty one . . . the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

Many of my friends and relatives say; "Puneet it’s too philosophical and practically not possible." I feel they have some fear of taking a step; a path different than normally taken by most. Once we overcome this fear and take the first step; the path will get clearer and clearer!

Let us try to live in present; cherish the present moment; enjoy what we have; enjoy the silence (time with ourselves); enjoy the simple music or a bird song; enjoy art; enjoy the sunsets; enjoy the rain. Let’s start giving meaning to our life!!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost

Two years of Atmachetna!

2009-07-25T13:34:00.002+05:30

Atmachetna was born in year 2007. Those of you know me well – know that, it was the year when self awakening happened for me and that’s how I named the organization Atmachetna (meaning self awakening). The past two years have been filled with numerous experiences- experiences mostly pleasant and enjoyable. The transition from a high paying corporate job to that of every month survival planning was mostly smooth. The credit largely goes to my family – Shilpi (my better half), Sanchit (my scientist son), Udita (my loving daughter).

There was a period when we had to struggle for few months in year 2008; there were all kind of advices by people - go back to working in corporate; you did not think before deciding etc etc. Probably many of them may be right too in their own perspective; but on hind-sight it looks a real fun. Most of the friends helped morally to keep us on track; even if we deviated a little. Friends like Piyush & Giten have specially helped me cope up with accounting and website issues. I am really amazed with the kind of sincerity and support of all my friends. (though there were some who could have helped but backed - no issues that too is learning!!)

The journey of Atmachetna till now is smooth and filled with lot of enjoyment. The real fun comes when I am inside a hall conducting workshops. There have been instances wherein I have just slept couple of hours previous night but I really feel energetic and charged during and after the workshops. The feedback from parents, teens and teachers and many corporates has been very encouraging. Though we are not able to scale up the work and increase our earnings through Atmachetna to what we thought, but the real satisfaction is in bringing a positive change in someone’s life. God has been real kind to us in smoothly managing our work without much hassles.

Apart from this, there has been tremendous learning about life as a whole; about true friends; about family; about nature; about hidden creative talent in me; about relationships; about society; about real purpose of education; about challenges of people; about living with peace of mind; about thinking beyond money; about the difference between living & meaningful living and many more.

It looks I have lived a different life in last 2 years. I am more close to my family than ever before; I have better understanding of feelings of my wife and kids and my mom and many others.

The only low at times for us at Atmachetna is that sometime we feel we should have made changes to many more lives. Hopefully this coming year 2009-10, we would be able to extend the reach of Atmachetna across India and may be beyond! Best wishes to all of us at Atmachetna!

Un-complicate your life!!

2009-07-02T16:04:00.002+05:30

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~Confucius

The significance of simple living is now more than ever before. We define our dreams and work very hard to achieve them, occupying each moment of our life with something or other. Most of us define our needs and then redefine and then start chasing a never finishing goal. We want to always enhance our living standard and comforts. But do we ever stop??

I informally reviewed a number of people who came into my life at various moments; most chasing that undefined never ending goal and very few who take a break to look where they are going. One of them I recently met at Indore. The people who have decided to un-complicate their lives say that we can work less, by wanting less and be happier and relaxed in our life.

The 1st step is to think about what really matter to you. What do you enjoy most? Spending time with family? Accruing wealth? Power? Buying latest gadgets? Writing? Learning? Adventure and travel? Socializing? Contributing something to the community? Obviously you can not do everything; so you must prioritize.

Enlisted are few ideas to simplify your life. These are not my ideas but collated from various conversations over last 2 years (since I started Atmachetna). Another caution is; do not try to do it in a hurry; be slow; define what you enjoy doing; write it; discuss and then decide. Take small but firm steps.

Keep the remote control of your life with yourself and do not allow anyone else to drive your life. For some boss is the driver; for others parents; for some spouse…. and in all this they are lost somewhere and not really happy!

Don’t buy something new for your home unless it’s absolutely necessary for living. Too much things — becomes suffocating. Buying, maintaining, insuring, storing and then disposing off takes up our precious life energy.

Stay in a home created by you for your family. Let it be a home for you and your family. You will find it more satisfying than living in a museum designed to impress your friends or so called society. Spending time and money to maintain a home that is larger than you will not only keep you busy but also the resources will be allocated to something not so meaningful.

Plan your work time and time at home. More when you become a parent. Live a balanced life — take out time to relax, to laugh, to dance, to take a walk or play tennis. Take a vacation to relax; not to see so many tourist spots defined by the tour operator!

Select a home and place of work not more than 30-40 minutes away from each other. Commuting time is boring time. It drains your energy and especially in today’s traffic. You can conserve your energy for something more meaningful like exercise, walk or play with kids.

Spend few hours a week with nature, away from crowds of people, traffic, and buildings. Green environment invigorates you!

Do something to connect with your soul – prayer; writing; meditation; or spiritual reading. Spirituality helps you reach that simple life you want. Practice a time for silence and privacy for yourself everyday.

Seek the support of others who want to simplify their lives. Meet similar thinking people. It’s quite possible that initially you feel lonely as your close friends and family may still be on the grind of fast paced life and may not support your thoughts or actions. Spend more time with your family or with people who make positive contributions to your life. Stop spending time with people who deplete your energy.

Learn to say no. Don’t say yes to everything in life; say no to those things that don’t bring you inner harmony and fulfillment; it’s more difficult when it’s a fancy materialistic item or greater career responsibility. For example if you say yes to promotion, you must understand you might have to say no to something else more (like more time with family).

Don’t be servant of technology. Limit your time with laptop, cellphone, Ipod etc. It’s healthy too if you avoid these items for some time!

The objective is to un-complicate your life. I am not suggesting that you leave your work or career to become a saint; it’s just to take a break; think and act rather than going on with the continuous grind of fast life.

Many of the so called successful people or rich people, having all the material comfort, yearn for peace of mind and health. So act now! This quote finishes it of so well--

Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things. - Elise Boulding

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T10:27:00.001+05:30

I was thoughtful and emotional today when the world celebrates “Father’s Day” and one word continuously haunted me is “Kal ho na ho”. Its 10 years now when we lost you daddy; but we miss you every day.

Most of us plan in our life that once I have money and resources, I will give all comfort to my parents. I also thought the same about my father; but one can only plan; ultimate decision maker is GOD. But I lost my friend and my daddy in 1999. I realized from that day that it’s better to live in present and take actions “now” rather than postponing them. I also decided not to dwell over the past and worry too much about future. In 2007, I started Atmachetna with the same quest.

I really miss my father more now, after being father of two kids - Sanchit & Udita. So many myths are broken when you yourself become a father. Now I try to be a good dad for my kids with help from my better half- Shilpi!. I really want to chat/discuss with you daddy; but can’t.

My advise to all those who say “oh I was remembering you” or “one day I will do this/that for my parents/friends” – just take the action now; b’coz you never know what GOD has planned for you. Please don’t postpone happiness and joy in your life and to other’s life through your actions and behavior.

Daddy, I really wish you were here with us now.
Happy Father’s Day – Daddy!

Exploring hills - I

2009-06-14T14:50:00.000+05:30

Just returned from Amritsar and himachal after a 6 day break! Feeling re-invigorated by the nature walks and treks!

Started journey with Swarn Shatabdi to Amritsar on 3rd June (almost missed the train due to everlasting chaos on paharganj side of New Delhi station). We all enjoyed the 5 hours journey to Amritsar; especially kids who freaked out in the coach as it was 80% empty. Though Amritsar was almost boiling at 45 degrees; we got our hotel car waiting outside which took us immediately to a wonderful hotel called M K Hotel (probably the largest in Amritsar). After a brief rest and a simple lunch, we started our journey to Wagah border (around 40 min drive).

Wagah border is the border between India and Pakistan and every day a ceremony takes place there, which is attended by almost 1000 Indians and few Pakistanis on the other side. The ceremony is worth watching and is a wonderful experience. The ceremony starts at 6 PM in summers and 5 PM in winters. We were lucky that one of our friends arranged a VIP seats for us, such that we were almost at the gate where ceremony takes place. The place is filled with continuous playing of patriotic music and slogans by Indians. Everyone is so charged up that they almost shout at every slogan. The difference to note here between India and Pakistan side is that – In India we have mixed crowd of men, women and children and other side its mainly men; here we have almost 1000 indians everyday and other side is just few may be 50-60 people attending the ceremony; here all of us Indians sing, dance and enjoy the ceremony. The ceremony lasts for almost 40 mins.

We really enjoyed the ceremony and atmosphere at Wagah border and returned to our hotel filled with energy at 7.30 pm and then proceeded to Golden Temple at 745pm. I had visited golden temple earlier but others (my kids, Shilpi and my mother) it was 1st time. They were overwhelmed by the beauty and atmosphere of the place. We spent almost 3 hours there – praying and enjoying the warmth of the place. We finished our day with langar at golden temple. Even Udita enjoyed the langar!

Dalhousie
We wanted to start our next leg to Dalhousie from Amritsar by mid-day (4th June); but were advised by locals to start early due to some religious ceremony and expected tension on that day in Jalandhar and probably Punjab. So we started at 7:30 am after simple breakfast at the hotel for Dalhousie in an Innova taxi. Dalhousie is 170 kms from Amritsar by road. Enroute we crossed Batala and Gurdaspur and reached Pathankot; bought some fruits from Pathankot as my mother and Udita likes fruits  (If you wish to go to Dalhousie or Dharamshala directly from Delhi- there are a number of trains from Delhi to Pathankot or chakki bank, which is 2 kms from pathankot).

From pathankot there are 2 roads – one going towards Dalhousie and other going towards Dharamshala, Mandi & Palampur. So we took the 1st road and stopped at “Mama’s Rasoi”- a resort for snacks. Nice place – just few Kms from Pathankot; as soon as the hills start; close to the army area. They make pizzas on Kulchas – not pizza bread; though we liked the pizzas; some of you may not!! They make fresh food – so it takes some time to serve.

From there we went non-stop to Dalhousie; road is decent and it took us around 1.5 hours for 60 kms. We stayed at “Silverton Estate Guest House” managed by Mr Vickram Singh and his family. A small heritage property built by his grandfather; with 5 rooms. Each room is nicely decorated and has an attached dressing area and large bathroom. The place is beautiful with a small garden in front with relaxing chairs. We were received with a glass of herbal soothing drink. The place is quite high and requires good driving skills to reach; but Mr Singh sends an escort to the road who will guide you to the place. Silverton Estate is above Govt’s circuit house. The family takes good care of you and provides you home food (breakfast & dinner). The food is simple and tailored to your taste. Lunch is not provided as you spend your afternoons normally outside. You are not allowed to eat anything inside the rooms to avoid smell and rats! Silverton Estate is nice place to stay as you don’t feel like closed hotel rooms – it’s like your home. The place is surrounded by deodar trees.

After relaxing for few hours; we started walking down to Gandhi Chowk (a prominent central place in Dalhousie). Incidentally Dalhousie is sandwiched between Dhauladhar and Pir panjal range of Himalayas and is a beautiful small unexploited hill station. It’s also called as walkers’ paradise; as it offers a number of walking treks rather than shops and congested roads like Manali and Shimla.

We were welcomed by almost 20 monkeys while descending from silverton to the main road and to avoid them we had to take a detour. Monkeys are there in plenty in Dalhousie and they can differentiate between a local and a tourist. They can be a problem if you tease them!! We reached Gandhi chowk and thought of eating our fruits and sat on a bus-stop shelter; which was almost empty. Soon a monkey decided to also eat the musk-melon we had and took away the fruit- eating every bit of it in front of us and teasing us also !! We realized we should not eat anything in open in Dalhousie. Then we started our walk on the road going to Subhash Bowli (1 km from Gandhi Chowk). Subhash bowli (spring) is the place where Subhash Chandra Bose got cured of his respiratory problem after drinking water from there, when he stayed in Dalhousie. It’s a beautiful trek on the road. All of us enjoyed the trek of 2 kms (to & fro to Subhash bowli - Its not a great tourist place but a good trek! Mr Singh from Silverton goes for an 8km walk on this road everyday (you lazy bums wake up!!!)

We returned to our hotel (quite steep ascend to Silverton Estate); those of you afraid of walking up-hill; be cautious! After a simple homely dinner we relaxed and enjoyed the good weather and decided to sleep.

Next day onwards in next post……..

What they still don't teach in schools !!

2009-03-20T15:27:00.000+05:30

“I was always a topper in my life getting more than 95% marks since class 1, but I know something is lacking in my life.” – a young teenager in a mega-city. “My daughter is all-rounder, good in education & sports but still she is not so confident” – a father in an upcoming township in south India.

Our education system focuses on kids to study hard to get “good marks”; in sports we look for “winning medals”, but is it all to make a person complete?? Life is much beyond this dispassionate competition. There is life beyond IITs and IIMs!

Some questions to be asked to ourselves - Are you winning or losing at the game of life? Would you like to be living or live a meaningful life? We need to define what’s the difference?
Unfortunately, most of us missed out on learning a few of the essential skills we need to win at the game of life, as no one felt it was necessary to learn it in school or at home. These days many schools have value education and different names for life skills – but nothing concrete; though some schools (like Shikshantar, Rishi Valley, KFI) are genuinely focusing on overall development of child than just studies by making kids learn that teaching them.

So, what are these vital skills, we are talking about -

Self Awareness
Who you are? Why are you there on earth? What is the purpose of your life? What are the things which bring happiness to you? What & who give you positive energy and what/who are energy drainers? Ability to understand and visualize own dreams and then defining a plan for it; rather than following other’s dreams! What are your unique gifts (strengths)?

Financial Skills
Understand the importance of money. Ability to plan, spend and save prudently. Appreciate the limited importance of money and know “how much is enough for me & my family” and how can I do something for the larger purpose in society (not just by donating money!)

Decision making skills
Ability to identify the real cause of problems, evaluate options and take decisions to resolve it. To be able to identify challenges and opportunities and ability to negotiate effectively. Even when we are adults, most of us get stuck – and postpone or don’t even take a decision. It’s important for us to give this training to our kids and probably learn ourselves too. This ability also helps us to identify and differentiate between the good and bad. We generally become so dependent on our parents that are afraid of taking decisions (have seen with senior executives in corporate too!)

Communication Skills
We are taught to speak and read well and some of us become good in either or both of them. However, communication is much more than that – it’s the ability to listen well, take & give constructive feedback; ability to share own thoughts & feelings and understand other’s feelings & thoughts. Louder the better is also not true!

Interpersonal & Social Skills
Ability to make friends and respect other’s strengths. It also includes understanding of one’s responsibilities & obligations to family, society & country. Many of us think we are good citizens only by abiding law, but one must know his/her own rights also. How you treat neighbors & people on road and people who are lesser privileged in society defines what kind of person you are! Ability to empathize with others is also important for you to become a thoughtful human being. And one of the most important these days is - are you voting or sleeping!

Livelihood Skills
Ability to live a “healthy” and meaningful life. How do you utilize your energy – are you consuming more than contributing to the society at large or to this world. Are you able to understand the challenges of global changes in environment and are you an enhancer of the problem or contributing to manage it effectively. To be aware of own behavior in public – while driving, talking, walking, dressing, eating, writing, using public property, behaving with elders and many more. Ability to say NO when needed. Ability to avoid stress and think positively and influence others positively! How do you react in emergency situations like fire, earthquake etc!

Surely it’s not something which many of us are not aware of; but if it can evoke some thoughts and take appropriate actions to work on them. It’s never late. You can help your kids to create their own list and guide them how they can achieve what they wish to. Unicef’s list is given at
http://www.unicef.org/lifeskills/index_whichskills.html

The challenge is that none of us are also trained on these skills, though many of us have learnt it by experience (probably the best way). We can help others learn by sharing our experiences (not as lecture to a kid, but as a story!!). And if you feel you also need to work on them, start slowly and learn together with our kids (please don’t try to teach – let them learn!).

The first step is take a step!

Your comments are welcome :-)

Women Empowerment - a myth!

2009-03-08T14:34:00.000+05:30

The concept of women empowerment seems to be a myth. Why do women need someone else to empower them or certify it? There is no doubt that women’s role in society is extremely important; if not more than at least equal to that of men. However, the way women look at themselves is most critical than others seeing their contributions.

Many of women mention, in our workshops that we are “just housewives” or “want to be a good mother or wife”. The problem is that their focus is only on the roles defined by the society and they get lost in those roles. They themselves do not appreciate their own strengths and the critical role they are providing to others including their own family. Being a house-wife or a home maker is probably one of the most significant roles taken by women.

Unless women start respecting themselves, others will not. They will have to go beyond their roles of daughter, wife, mother, sister etc and think about themselves – their own strengths, their likes, dislikes, what they enjoy most, what makes them happy, their inner feelings, their aspiration, their dreams and much more. I am not arguing that we should not compromise or cooperate for a healthy family relation, but concern is that most of the time, sacrifice is expected from women and they oblige easily.

Empower – means – “to give official authority or legal power”. It means that someone else is giving the power to you; but power is & was always there with you (women). You just have to realize this and move ahead (need is for self-awakening).

Every one woman has to identify her own self and plan for herself. Don’t look at or for others to help you. The change has to come from within you. What governments and society can do is define a policy for women empowerment; but the action or 1st change on yourself has to be from within YOU.

Best wishes for International Women’s Day – 8th March 2009.
www.atmachetna.com

Wake up India!

2009-03-07T20:15:00.000+05:30

Just analyze these 2 stories – one is very recent and one is from 2006. 1st one from US and 2nd one about India

“Feb 25, 2009 (Hindu): US President Barack Obama on Wednesday said that his administration would focus on energy, health care and education to not only revive economy of the United States, but also to make sure that these are investments into America's future.
The US President said the current education system is not able to meet the growing challenges of the world. "This is a prescription for economic decline, because we know the countries that out-teach us today will out-compete us tomorrow. That is why it will be the goal of this administration to ensure that every child has access to a complete and competitive education," Obama said.
He said the budget creates new incentives for teacher performance; pathways for advancement, and rewards for success. "We'll invest in innovative programs that are already helping schools meet high standards and close achievement gaps. And we will expand our commitment to charter schools."
Obama said his plan would make sure that by 2020, America will once again have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world. "These education policies will open the doors of opportunity for our children," he added. “

January 30, 2006 (rediff)
“Senior ministers of the Indian government told a group of international investors on Saturday that India was committed to more reforms in the education sector to ensure that there was no shortage of skilled manpower to sustain an annual growth rate of over 8 per cent in the coming years.
Finance Minister P Chidambaram said of the 500 industrial training institutes that were to be offered to the private sector, the handing over of 80 had already been completed under the unique public-private partnership initiative.
Planning Commission Deputy Chairman Montek Singh Ahluwalia added that a new policy on beefing up the education sector was expected to be finalised soon by the Knowledge Commission, set up at the initiative of the prime minister.”

So whats the difference?
One is recent and about future. One is past. Both are discussing focus on education for growth of the country. Very nice till now!
But, 3 years passed since the 2nd story and almost no progress made by Govt of India on education reforms; and this is when the head of government himself is a teacher for last 5 years! Recommendations of Knowledge Commission are gathering dust as other reports and documents on education in past.
Surprisingly, in India, there are no significant policy and framework for early childhood education. There is large amount of poor quality education being provided at primary and secondary level. Furthermore, there is no common school system; instead children are channeled into private, government-aided and government schools on the basis of ability to pay and social class. There is significant amount of political interference in curriculum and content to be taught.

There is severe shortage of quality teachers and there seems to be no authentic planned development and growth for teachers & school leaders. Most of the teacher training programs are out-dated and obsolete.

Situation in higher education is as bad as the school education. The curriculum taught in most of the top colleges is almost that of British era and not relevant to anyone. Students just read books and pass exams without gaining any knowledge required in real world. Politicians announce opening of colleges to gain public votes, without realizing the need for quality teachers and considerable shortage of them; not only in technical colleges, but also in arts & commerce colleges. Teaching is not a preferred career by many as it’s not respected and compensated adequately.

Quality and quantity of research is extremely poor and not at all focused. Those who wish to do serious research go towards west and many don’t come back.

In 1986, Late Rajiv Gandhi announced a new education policy, the National Policy on Education (NPE), which was intended to prepare India for the 21st century. The policy emphasized the need for change: ‘Education in India stands at the crossroads today. Neither normal linear expansion nor the existing pace and nature of improvement can meet the needs of the situation.’

Someone can say that - we are doing so well as a country and we have so many successful people in all sphere of life. That’s the beauty of a large country. It’s the efforts of individuals and few progressive educationists that we are able to reach where we are. We achieved because the students and their teachers took interest and they succeeded inspite of all the above. But in future, things are different. Change is required at a very basic level, for India to reach a developed country level. May be India could have reached there early, if things were better!

I am not a pessimist, but feel sad that an educationist as PM could not do much in education and almost wasted 5 years as head of government. I think the time for action has come, wherein government has to begin systemic education reforms. The process of change will take at least a decade to show results, if it starts now.

So wake up India, before it’s too late!!

Board Exams - for whom??

2009-03-05T21:33:00.000+05:30

These days the monster of board exams is haunting kids in class Xth and 12th. Parents are more stressed than children. It’s quite a scene outside a center of examination for board exams these days. Parents are strolling like its their own examination and telling kids to read everything before the test. And after the exam they ask one of the funniest questions “how was the exam?” If you really think, it’s quite an illogical question as the exam is over and how does it make a difference how it was! What’s important is how the child is feeling? It’s a time of relaxation for them and getting worried by the fact that they have not done so well, will spoil further exams too and if they have done too well; then it may make them complacent.

The real question to ask is what purpose is solved by Board exams? Does it check what the child has learnt & what he or she knows or what the child does not know? Or people in board want to show their supremacy of making tough question paper.

"Education should have two objects: first, to give definite knowledge, reading and writing, language and mathematics, and so on; secondly, to create those mental habits which will enable people to acquire knowledge and form sound judgments for themselves." Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) Skeptical Essays, 1928

The board exams are epitome of rote learning. It not only put everyone in pressure including student, teacher and parents, but creates a picture that getting good marks in those exams is the symbol of success. Teacher’s performance is measured by how kids score in board exams; a child’s future is defined by how much he or she gets in these exams and parents want to ensure that their kids get as high marks as possible. No one seems to be bothered about “how much & what a child has learnt” which will help him or her to understand strengths than focusing on weaknesses. Each child has his or her unique gifts which must be developed. Unfortunately, these gifts are lost in the fear of examinations as a child is expected to get high marks in all subjects.

Focus of these exams is to test your knowledge of subjects but not understanding of any topic and its application in real life.

"At present, we educate people only up to the point where they can earn a living and marry; then education ceases altogether as though a complete mental outfit had been acquired...vast numbers of men and women thus spend their entire lives in complete ignorance of the most important things." Carl G. Jung (1875-1961) Child Development and Education, 1923

Even National Curriculum Framework 2005 created by NCERT (which is gathering dust as Govt is not able to implement it ) says

“Shift from content based testing to problem solving and understanding—content based testing induces bad pedagogy and rote learning, both of which induce stress towards examination time. Basic tables and formulae could be provided to reduce emphasis on memory and focus on analysis, evaluation and application.

Shift towards shorter examinations in which 25 to 40% is for written answers, and the remaining for well designed multiple choice questions.

Conduct examinations in students own school—malpractice could be minimized by having invigilation teams come from other schools.

Permit students to take as many subjects as they are prepared for and complete the requirements in a three-year window. This could develop towards ‘on demand’ examinations, which students can take as and when they feel prepared.

Eliminate the terminology of ‘pass’-‘fail’; indicate lack of adequate proficiency through ‘re- examination recommended

Organize re-examination immediately after announcement of results to enable students needing retake in one or two subjects to go through to the next stage without losing a year.

Subjects such as mathematics and English could be examined at two levels; standard and higher. In the long term all subjects could be offered at two levels with students doing at least three/two of the six at standard and the remaining three/four at higher level.”

Unfortunately, we are still living with the monster of Board exams!! Its high time we not only make small changes in our education system, but go for complete review and revamp.

Lane Driving = Insane Driving!

2009-03-01T13:42:00.000+05:30

I was traveling with a friend who recently returned to India for good after staying abroad for 20 years. Don’t ask me the reason – is it love for the soil? Or is it the bad time in US currently? This note from me is not about this. So let’s not deviate from our theme of driving around in Delhi and Gurgaon (supposedly the happening place in India – that’s what he mentioned when he came back).

Coming back to his driving – he started on a positive not with reversing his car from parking; I asked him why he is not honking while reversing; he said it’s rude as I have already given the indicators. Before I could react his car was almost missed by 2-3 cars on the road as no one stopped for him to reverse. So after lot of struggle and me out of car helping him to reverse by stopping the traffic he could take out his car out of parking. So here we began the journey. We started from the ring road in Lajpat Nagar. He mentioned, beautiful roads and then corrected himself soon; asking, why people are not travelling in lanes. I said probably they are rushing that’s why. But soon he discovered than lanes are just some white lines on the road (while he asked a person in the car next to him while stopping on a signal that why he is not following lanes; the guy retorted “what lanes”; on telling the lanes on the road – the person said “oh those white lines on road; I don’t know what are those”.

Our friend stopped before the zebra crossing on the signal and allowed people to cross the road. When the signal turned green, he did not move; I asked him why – he said people are still crossing and the traffic from the other side has not stopped. The traffic behind us was getting impatient and he was amazed by the extraordinary music of horns behind him. Reluctantly he moved and said that’s not right; as we could have hit someone. I said if you don’t move then someone will hit you from behind. He asked what about the training to people about traffic rules while granting the license; I told him that I know of many people who never sat on a wheel and have license to drive! (He did not believe; until he did an informal survey of around 50 people on road and realized that almost 99% drivers did not know what the traffic signs are)

So with some struggle, we reached NH-8 which will take us to our destination Gurgaon. And all this while I was really scared as my friend was not using horn at all and at many instances we were almost hit by many objects on road like rickshaws, cycles, bullock-cart, auto-rickshaws, hand-carts, all size trucks, racing buses and the zoo on the road (yes the cows and the dogs)

He mentioned that he has read about this express-way to Gurgaon from Delhi and it’s really cool! Soon he was sweating about his own statement and asked why buses and trucks are on all the 4 lanes of the road; aren’t they supposed to stick to their lanes. To his horror trucks were swaying like snake on all the lanes with such heavy loads. Then he saw lot of motorbikes on the NH-8 just moving dangerously in all lanes of the expressway (where 2 wheelers are not allowed – at least as per the traffic signs). He again asked why people are not giving way when he wants to use the fast lane. I said you honk; he said but they are supposed to choose their lane based on speed. I said, may be no one knows about the speed & lane concept.

He mentioned that it’s very dangerous, looking at the way traffic is increasing almost daily in Delhi and NCR. I said, yes it is. He again said that why government is not doing anything. I said they give lot of traffic tickets to offenders when they decide as special drive. He said, it requires a lot and lot of training and educating people to not only learn the lane discipline, but also about how to respect others on road and also respecting pedestrians.

After waiting at Toll-plaza for almost 15 minutes we entered Haryana and Gurgaon (the most happening place of India!). Why so much time on toll plaza – because it was designed for almost 1/10th of the actual traffic and people here also do not stick to the right lanes.

He saw beautiful architecture and said; yes this is the place I will keep my office. This place is really nice! But here to the comments were short lived; as we left NH-8 and entered the side lanes of Gurgaon (New Gurgaon); the road was almost shattered near the beautiful “ship building”. He struggled for almost 30 minutes to get the right parking as he did not want to block the road as done by almost 100s of people, while parking on the roads in Gurgaon. He was shocked to see such grossly poor quality of planning by the administration here. No proper roads; if roads there, 100s of cars parked on the side (as the builders did not plan for parking while creating beautiful highly priced buildings and administration never asked them why they have not!); many more animals on road than just cows & dogs; much variety of traffic (trucks almost the size of airplane zipping in Gurgaon all the time on the roads, supposedly designed for the colonies and that too all the time of the day); no public transport (rickshaws add to the beauty of the millennium city); school traffic parked on the road; signals not working (as Gurgaon has an average 8 hour power cut daily!!); call center driver’s road rage and many more amazing things of the millennium city called- Gurgaon.

So coming back to my friend – he again asked few traffic policemen in Gurgaon, why they are not managing traffic; they answered “hum kya kar sakte hain, hamari duty to yahan nahin hai (what we can do, our duty is somewhere else)”. There is no desire from anyone to improve. People in administration who can, are not doing anything (they are more bothered about other issues of politics and votes); common public do not know how to manage as no one ever taught them; corporate who can join hands and improve are not doing as its not their job to improve a city.

So who can help this city or this nation – Only GOD, and that too when he has time to bless us!

So to end - After few months, my friend after lot of trying and reaching to administration to improve has joined the normal public of the city and relaxes on the back seat while his driver drives with no lane discipline and lot of honking; as they say “When in Rome; act like Romans!”
-Puneet 28 Feb, 2009

Enjoy the Silence!

2009-02-28T18:36:00.000+05:30

Real Silence is from within us. From silence, our inner powers come out – power to manage ourselves, to love, not to fear, to share, to be truthful and to learn from others.
Power of silence is when you are able to come from a place of calmness internally, and with that power, express yourself in real life. Calmness is internal to you, i.e avoiding the noises which are filled in our lives. We fill noises to avoid silence. Some people manage calmness well, but most get discomfort by calmness and to manage the worries and problems in their life; they avoid the silence of within.
Silence though helps us build our internal energy. Just try as a simple exercise to be silent for few moments in a day and see the change.
Your job, your responsibilities and many outward factors would keep you occupied or try to pull you out of the silence; do not struggle; let the silence prevail slowly and slowly with you and enjoy the feelings.

You are your own image
You will tend to become what you think about yourself. It’s true for children too; if you say regularly to them that “you are stupid”; after sometime they tend to become what they hear so often. If you usually think in anxious ways, angry ways, frustrated ways, those kinds of feelings actually start to imprint themselves on your being, and you become a person who is rather like that. The natural state of any person is to be tranquil, loving, peaceful and positive. From this state of strength, we can act in natural ways, but the environment around us; social, emotional and commercial pressures forces us to become peace-less. We get so engrossed in this peace-less-ness that sometimes there is uneasiness about letting the noises stop, because we realize that we are not actually in control of our mind. So, we may fill every little space in our lives with noise and stimulus in order to avoid facing up to the fact that we’ve lost control and we can’t actually be truly calm inside.
What is silence? It’s normally defined as “the absence of sound”.

Silence, in the sense that we are referring to it is much more than the absence of sound - it’s an inner strength. A state when you are calm inside because you are satisfied. You have contentment.

It’s like a car battery being charged; when the battery of a car has run dry, then the car won’t function properly and you will feel bad. If the battery is well charged up, then the driver will feel confident with that car. It’s very similar with our own inner being, the times when we feel most distressed are when we feel that what is being asked of us by life, we don’t quite have the strength to meet those challenges. Silence is the means whereby you can charge the battery of your being so that you are able to do more than you are otherwise able to do.
What are these powers of silence?
The first of these powers is the power to withdraw. There are many instances in life where it’s important for us to be able to do that, to withdraw internally and allow some agitation around us to rage, and yet not be hurt or destroyed by it. It’s the ability to move one’s mental energies from the outside and bring them into an inner space.
The second power is the power to accommodate, and is demonstrated by a river merging into an ocean. It is when you’re in relationship with others who maybe showing unpleasant scenes in front you, but you have the strength to absorb that without being taken over by it. In other words, you are not influenced by their negativity; you are able to accommodate it like an ocean of strength. This power comes when you regularly charge that inner battery with the power of silence. Another major power is the power to face. There are times when you need to face up to unpleasant things, like a loss; could be someone dear to you. An individual who has the art of charging themselves through silence power will be able to face the facts and move on. Another aspect of this power is to do what is right in the face of problem rather than imagine that the problem isn’t there.
Another is power to discriminate and judge. Where there’s a lack of silence power, one can often be mislead by external circumstances, but inner silence brings a good measure for judging how to act. You start to learn that some types of action, behavior and relationship bring you closer to this calmness, whilst other things take you away from it and make you addicted to external things. Your distinction becomes much better when you’re coming from a place of calmness inside. The power to judge implies that you can weigh your priorities well. You are not so influenced by inner needs that you can’t make the correct judgments.
Finally, the power to tolerate and the power to co-operate: these are needed so much in today’s world, where people’s tolerance is decreasing all the time - road-rage & public display of anger are just some of the symptoms. When you are able to tap into the power of silence, you’re able to overcome the feelings of negativity in yourself and in others. Instead of acting negatively, getting into an internal rage and multiplying the situation, the understanding is there that they are suffering. You can see this because of that coolness that you derived from silence power. The power to co-operate enables you to be more non-judgmental of others and more appreciative of their qualities. When you feel bad in yourself, there’s a tendency for your vision to go outwards and spot the weaknesses in others. There’s more of a generous outlook towards others, you’re aware of their problems. You’re not innocent which is dangerous, but you do not focus on them. So co-operation becomes easier and they become stronger as a result of this positive attitude.
Identify the power of silence within you and let it flow the positive energy through you.
-Puneet/19th Feb 2009
www.atmachetna.com

They Deserve to Live!

2009-02-28T18:20:00.000+05:30

When will this stop? Everyday media carry shocking stories of so many young kids taking the extreme step of ending their life. Then the blame game starts. Parents blame school; school blame parents or education system and we, the society will say “something should be done!! ” Then Government sets up a panel to find out ways to reduce burden or pressure on kids and life goes on…. As per a report almost 2500 kids end their life in a year in India due to pressures during exam and at the time of results.

Instead of making our children good and responsible citizens, we might be turning them into directionless human beings with no confidence in self or in society. Regularly by our actions and behaviour we hurt our kids so badly – not physically but mentally that they start having low self-esteem or self worth. They take out their anger by either hurting others like in case of recent spate of incidents among young schoolchildren across India or by hurting themselves.

The biggest surprise is the behaviour of parents in saying we don’t know why he/she acted like this! Why you are not involved in your kids life; giving them comfort, foreign holidays, gizmos is the only proof of a good parent? In return you want your kid to do well and succeed; with getting good marks the only indicator of success.

Recently we did a survey in a leading Gurgaon school of around 200 kids of Class VIII. The children, I believe, gave us honest feedback. They shared with us that the pressure of studies and managing parents/teachers as their biggest challenge. Around 70% of them are scared of their parents or teachers. These kids start spending more time away from parents – with peers, with TV, and on the internet. They are spending lesser and lesser time with parents. Some of their feelings about themselves and their other family members were both revealing and shocking.

We, many times unknowingly, pass on pressure of our own ambitions and aspirations onto these young kids. “It’s a competitive world; so every child should run – whether he or she can or not”. Teachers are under performance pressure of giving a “good result” from ever demanding parents & school management, end up pressurizing the kids with loads of exams. Often the exam system tests children not on what he or she knows, but on what they don’t know!

On top of this, kids today are bombarded with too much information from movies, TV serials, internet, and newspapers. Some of this is not suitable for them. They are often confused and there is no one there to guide them what is right and what’s not. Very often our kids see us breaking the rules, which we expect them to follow.

While we all know the reasons – nuclear families, working parents, increasing consumerism, and so on – we still have not learnt how to handle our children who are soft and innocent like young saplings coming out of a seed. They need nurturing through love & care like we do for our new plants. They will be what “we” will make them – we as parents, family elders and, teachers. Each small sapling needs lot of care when it is young. It will grow into a strong tree if taken care of well with right amount of water, soil and care.

The truth of today’s life is that we are all under pressure, and have less time to spend with family and children. Finding and managing time for this great cause is not difficult. There are lots of parents and teachers who are doing it successfully.

The solution lies in ensuring that our pressures are not passed onto our kids. The solution also lies in planning our lives in such way that despite our busy schedule, we are there with our children, when they need us. Let’s help the kids, to identify their “unique dreams” and help them in achieving it by working on their strengths than focusing on their weaknesses.

So let’s start “doing” something rather than just saying Aamir Khan’s “Taarey Zameen Par is a nice film and I was moved by it.

Its time to nurture our young trees, our kids! Give them chance to live; let them live their childhood & enjoy it too!

-Puneet Rathi
Founder
Atmachetna
www.atmachetna.com