🌍 Loneliness: The Silent Epidemic We Can’t Ignore

 

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” -Robin Williams

When we think about the world’s biggest problems, issues like unemployment, climate change, or political unrest usually come to mind. But there’s another crisis quietly spreading across countries, communities, and even homes—loneliness. And it might just be the biggest issue of our times.

Why Loneliness Hurts More Than We Think

Loneliness is not just “feeling sad when you’re alone.” It’s a deeper, persistent sense of being disconnected—even when surrounded by people. Studies show that chronic loneliness can be as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It weakens our immune system, raises risks of depression, anxiety, heart disease, and even shortens life expectancy.

In India, doctors at AIIMS have observed loneliness as a major driver of rising mental health cases among both youth and the elderly. The hidden cost? Reduced productivity at work, strained family relationships, and a rise in health issues that stretch our already burdened healthcare system.

India’s Changing Social Fabric

Traditionally, India’s joint family system and close-knit communities acted as a buffer against isolation. But rapid urbanization, migration for jobs, and the shift to nuclear families have changed that.

• A HelpAge India survey (2021) revealed nearly half of respondents felt lonely, even if they lived with family.
• Young professionals in cities like Bengaluru and Gurgaon often live alone, juggling high-pressure jobs with little social support.
• Digital platforms keep us “connected,” but in reality, many young Indians feel emotionally adrift despite having hundreds of social media friends but not many friends who are willing to meet in person.

A Global Crisis with Local Faces

India is not alone. The UK appointed a Minister for Loneliness in 2018, Japan created a similar role, and in 2023 the U.S. Surgeon General called loneliness an epidemic on par with smoking and obesity. Clearly, this is a universal issue cutting across age, gender, and culture.

Why This Matters More Than Anything Else

The scary part about loneliness is how it seeps into everything: health, work, and society at large. Economies can recover, politics can shift, but a lonely society? It becomes less resilient, less compassionate, and more vulnerable to polarization. 

What We Can Do

The solutions aren’t rocket science but they do require effort:
✅ Rebuilding community spaces in our apartment complex and support networks
✅ Encouraging intergenerational living where possible - take responsibility for atleast 3 individuals beyond own family (spend some time every week)
✅ Creating workplace policies that value mental well-being
✅ Balancing screen time with real human contact

 

If COVID taught us one thing, it’s the value of human connection. In India and across the globe, loneliness is a crisis we can no longer ignore. It’s time to treat it not as a private struggle but as a public priority—because in the end, stronger connections mean stronger societies.

Why Emotional & Physical Connection still matter after 50

 

When we think of love and intimacy, it’s easy to imagine the passion of youth—the early days of holding hands, long conversations, or stolen kisses. But what about after 50? Does love fade into the background once children grow up, careers slow down, and routines take over? The truth is, connection—both emotional and physical—is as vital in the second half of life as it was in the first.

The Language of Touch

Physical touch is often underestimated. It’s not just about sexuality; it’s about reassurance, comfort, and belonging. Science confirms what our hearts already know—touch releases oxytocin, reduces stress, and strengthens bonds. A warm hug, a hand held during a walk, or a gentle pat on the back says: “You matter to me, still.” As family therapist Virginia Satir once noted, “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.”

Emotional Intimacy: The Quiet Glue

Equally important is the emotional connection. Beyond shared responsibilities, couples need shared feelings, laughter, and vulnerability. Dr. John Gottman, who has studied marriages for decades, observed that it’s the “small moments of connection” that keep relationships thriving—not grand romantic gestures. After 50, companionship, empathy, and understanding often become deeper sources of fulfilment than excitement alone. Having sex is also not a taboo but enriches emotional connect.

East and West: Cultural Contrasts

In India, cultural norms sometimes limit open displays of affection. Love is often expressed through care—preparing meals, managing family, or silently standing by each other’s side. While beautiful in its own way, it can lead to emotional distance if not balanced with verbal or physical affirmation.
In contrast, in many Western countries, older couples openly hold hands, hug in public, and continue dating each other and have regular sex. These gestures normalize intimacy across ages, reinforcing the idea that love doesn’t “expire.”

Story from Amsterdam: In Amsterdam, an older couple in their seventies were seen walking hand-in-hand by a canal. When asked why they still held hands, the husband chuckled: “We started walking this way when we were students. If I let go now, I’d lose my balance—not just on the street, but in life.”

Why It Matters

• Health & Well-being: Emotional closeness and touch reduce loneliness, lower blood pressure, and even strengthen immunity.
• Relationship Renewal: Intimacy prevents drift, reminding partners that they are more than co-managers of life—they are companions in love.
• Legacy of Love: Demonstrating affection teaches younger generations that relationships are lifelong journeys, not temporary arrangements.

Love Has No Expiry Date

The beauty of relationships after 50 lies in their simplicity. It’s not about fireworks anymore—it’s about warmth, trust, and presence. A soft hand squeeze during illness, laughter over old memories, or sitting in silence together can mean more than passionate declarations.

As Rumi said: “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

And perhaps that’s the reminder we all need: love isn’t about age. It’s about staying connected—in heart, in physical touch, and in spirit.

Another Story: In Pune, an elderly man in his late sixties was caring for his wife. Every evening, he would massage her hands and feet gently. They would hug and kiss regularly to bring love. When someone asked why, he responded softly, “This is how we lived our life and our physical connect helps build Soul connect” Such gestures of care show that intimacy often grows deeper with age.

 

Book with new chapters - Post Pandemic !

I wrote few more chapters in the book after pandemic as I saw many confused parents and people wbout life and parenting issues. The book is ready for print and relaunched soon.

The brief summary of the book is as below:

Summary of the Book "A Journey on Life and Parenting" by Puneet Rathi :

“A Journey on Life and Parenting” is a deeply personal and reflective work by Puneet Rathi that blends life lessons, parenting insights, and motivational guidance. Drawing from his own transformation and experiences over a nine-year self-awakening journey, Puneet shares heartfelt musings on how to live meaningfully, parent consciously, and rediscover one’s purpose.

The book is divided into three parts: life lessons, parenting reflections, and post-pandemic insights. In the life segment, Puneet urges readers to pause, reflect, and seek fulfillment beyond materialism. He emphasizes simplicity, self-awareness, humility, and emotional intelligence—qualities often overlooked in a fast-paced world. His tone is conversational, peppered with relatable anecdotes and philosophical quotes.

In the parenting section, Puneet challenges conventional approaches, advocating for empathy, trust, and individualized nurturing of children. He stresses that each child is unique and must be guided—not controlled—with love, life skills, and the freedom to grow. The book addresses critical issues like academic pressure, peer influence, emotional well-being, and communication gaps between parents and children.

The final section, added post-pandemic, explores the importance of human connection, the impact of social media, and the urgency to realign our priorities. He calls for conscious living, where joy is found in small moments and meaningful relationships.

Puneet’s message is universal: live authentically, parent with awareness, and embrace the power of positive thought. His writing is more than advice—it’s an invitation to introspect, evolve, and create a better world for ourselves and future generations.

Why India's Infrastructure is Crumbling?

The infrastructure in India is crumbling in almost all megacities. We have adopted the chalta hai (feeling helpless) attitude towards this and waiting for a bigger disaster to happen. The look and feel of most major cities in India is now filth and dirt. Is this called development?

Roads – 5 kms take 90 mins to travel; roads are like surface of moon and poor quality is now an acceptable norm. Even newly built fancy highways and bridges (Atal-setu) are of poor quality and cracking. With 30mins of rains in any megacity in India, roads are totally blocked. There are countries where rain is much more than India but have not seen such poor infrastructure of roads.

Water & Air – getting clean air to breathe and clean water to drink is a dream now. No big city or any city in North India is worth living without Asthma or bronchitis. Not everyone can invest in air purifiers (and that too is not a solution)

Food - the food we eat is risky and chemicals infested. Inspite being a agriculture country, we get such sub-standard quality food. 

Rail – overcrowding and delays are regular and hygiene is extremely poor. Even the new Vande Bharat trains have so many issues of quality. Railway stations in Metros are so difficult to reach. One of the worst example is : New Delhi Railway Station

Air travel – most airports are stretched and overcrowded; all flights are delayed and airlines are struggling (inspite of booming business with almost 95% + occupancy). Its a pain to travel now.

Medical – government hospitals are crowded and do not have basic facilities and hygiene and private hospitals and doctors are minting money

Education – still primitive form of education – focusing on marks is being promoted in garb of transformed education and there is no focus on building skills and vocational abilities. Still there is supply-demand gaps and places like Kota are flourishing and young kids dying due to pressure.

Is Government responsible for all this? For Infra yes – but for many others its the basic civic sense of people is the key driver. People are largely driven by self, fear, greed and materialistic things. Efforts to build community and go beyond self is rare. By saying India will be a trillion dollar economy will not help anyone and it will just create a hype but the struggle of basics of living remains.

Inspite of doing our duty as citizens and paying all taxes, we are still struggling for a basic simple life. 

There is no initiative about managing or planning POPULATION GROWTH of the highest populated country and infra will further crumble if planned and sustained initiatives are not taken. There will be chaos and fights for basic necessities such as clean water and clean food.
 

In real sense we do not control anything!

 

Saw this quote somewhere - “It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control?”

Over the years the focus of life has been to manage things which were in our control as we do not control others.

We don’t control other people, the weather, the economy or politics. We don’t even control our own bodies. We get issues, get sick, get old, and there’s little we can do. Except worry and think about it constantly. We drive ourselves nuts!

Then someone shared that we can control only our thoughts and ourself. It was insightful and I tried my level best to believe in this and practice it.

I made a point that whatever may be I will never hurt anyone intentionally or even un-intentionally and no hatred for anyone at all. I tried to remain positive in my thoughts and started practicing and initially it was helpful.

However last few years I realised that in real sense we do not control anything; not even our thoughts or actions. Inspite of being positive and always caring for others, the world was taking advantage of me and there was nothing I could control.

So there was a sense of helplessness and despair.

The power of almighty or destiny is much beyond all of us and we are doing good things as defined by destiny but all the wrongs are our own karma and we can not blame almighty for the same.

The feelings, thoughts, actions are just part of a larger self and the larger world. So we are just a drop in a large ocean and one day this drop will cease to exist. The only thing we can do is to go with the flow and do our karma ; living every moment as its last.

The plans made; the success, the money, the things and the people around us are as temporary as we are. They will keep on doing their karma (at times hurting you) and you will just do some of yours.

The living to Death is just a moment ( a millisecond) and thats the unknown to every human (we have made all scientific progress but this is beyond us). The purpose of life on this earth keeps on changing and its all dependent on circumstances and situations.

I have seen so many people changing and many times shocking. Probably my expectations from them were wrong and they were always internally something else and were projecting an image...I feel happy that I was able to keep only one thing with me - the sense of not hurting anyone and helping people whenever I can..

Honestly, I don't think in this life I will get clarity about self or people around us as last few years have been very enlightening – both in positive and negative sense and probably the people around us will keep on doing their karma and life will give more positive moments in time to come...whatever time is left in this life !

Courtyard Gurugram Downtown by Marriott-Amazing experience !

The hotel is a great addition to Gurgaon many years back. I stayed in the hotel many times and stayed again recently. The hotel was always quite good and willing to listen to feedback from guests for improvements.

Some of the great experiences this time (end June 2023) included:

1. A very warm welcome by everyone in the team – starting with the door man to bell desk to front office (reception). The team was quick and responsive and welcoming.

2. The buffet breakfast is class-apart, probably the best in North India. This is about the spread, variety and a great team to make it nice (inspite of large guests at one time)

3. The managers are not just sitting in their offices and are roaming across the areas to understand the realities – this many hotels miss. Meeting guests casually and capturing their feedback gives immense data points for enhancements and its invaluable. 

4. The rooms are nice and cozy and housekeeping staff is always willing to help.

5. Room service of food is prompt and up to the mark as per the requests made (again this is important as many guests have specific needs for food)

6. Gym is nice and so is the pool. Internet is great too.

The leadership of the hotel is willing to listen to views of the guests and together with their team act on the suggestions or feedback received. The team is working together to make it a great experience for everyone. 

The only challenge I found were very limited English movie and entertainment system – probably the management can have a relook at that as they have many guests from outside India.

Rest all is amazing and great. Keep up the good show - thank much.

Where are we now !

 

Someone said “Change is the only constant”. Sometimes the purpose of life comes from change – it’s all about the joy and happiness one’s life has brought to self and to others.

The so called development in past so many years have been crazy. Its not to say that the world was better before the advent of social media or the fancy electronic gadgets. I thing its all due to the desire of humans that innovations like these happened. But inspite of these “great innovations” the loneliness in the world has increased drastically. So much so that even people share their feelings and moments just by “emojis”. 

The social media based on psychological human desire to “feel appreciated” has led to complications. The thin line between reality and fake has been diminishing and at times it is giving a false sense of being. The real world and real feelings are not felt or shared.

Friendship is replaced by friends for benefit.

The childhood which was a time to be innocent, enjoy the outdoor games, be free and explore has been taken over by gadgets and TV (with its extremely high and volatile content). Even the parents are providing the gadgets out of peer pressure and whole meaning of childhood fun is getting lost. There is so much pressure of “getting degrees” for kids and children that the real learning is not happening. The kids are just running towards the adulthood and are not getting time to understand “who they are”.

Various studies have shown the dramatic negative effects that excessive use or overdose of social media affects the mental health of users, especially the teenagers who report a rise in the incidence of depression, stress, and anxiety.

Then the rat-race continues till very late in life – when people start asking what’s the purpose of life and wish the time can be reversed.

The relationships are largely impacted that compromise on moral values is considered as fun and normal. The real relationships between friends, spouses and families are deeply impacted. People are just “busy” and not clear on what?

Just read a post by someone who was going for her Kidney transplant operation and she was totally on social media to share her photos and write. The whole purpose of life is becoming over engrossed with fake-ness and the real pleasure of life are coming from unreal things. 

The vacations and holidays are more to compare and post pictures on social media that relax and re-energize. The desire to have more and more is leading to greed and the gap between rich and poor is increasing consistently.

The whole world talks about global warming and environment – but rational individual actions are missing. The challenge of fresh air, water and basic necessity of life is still a challenge. There is lot of sympathy but very rarely empathy.

Although the life expectancy of humans is prolonged but in real terms people are not healthy – issues are both physical, emotional and psychological. The real happiness is getting lost in desires to fulfill as a competition with others.

So is it that the past was much better? I may sound that everything bad is happening. However, the intention is to just re-iterate the facts that sometime and not too late everyone needs to ask “what is the real purpose for us – individually and together” – we owe it to us and to our future generations.

Covid was just one instance of eye-opener for everyone where the struggle was for “living”. Hope we do not forget as the uncertainty of future is always a reality. The loneliness of humanity is increasing so rapidly that world is really facing a big crisis much sooner than people can realize. The political world will always keep normal people busy with issues which are troubling their lives (divide & rule, wars, legalities, scarcities, lies and many more). The change is so rapid

So WHO should start this – it starts with YOU, ME and all of us. It calls for introspection, reflection, thinking and then acting ! and that too immediately.